"Dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go;
be what you want to be, because you only have one life to live
and one chance to do all the things you want to do."
I can only discribe this love in 3 words, " love, anger and controlled".
LOVED and CONTROLLED: I've been so in love with Him. Eversince I met Him, I did everything for Him. Everything He wants I did. He got jealous to all my guy friends. So just to make Him happy, I avoid my friends. If i want to go out, like went to the mall or wherever i want I need His permission. But its ok with me coz I love him. I've been so honest, faithfull and loyal to Him. Theres one time, my friend having a party in a bar he invited me. So i ask Him if i can go. After an hour he sed yes. So I went to the party. Old friends are there. That night is almost perfect. ALMOST. Why? Because, I think i've been in the party about an hour and here He come. He's waiting outside to fetch me. NICE.. I did'nt even finished my ice tea. But because I LOVE Him. It's ok. Even though my friend asked me, REALLY? YOU GOING HOME ALREADY? Well what can I do.? My boss is waiting outside.. hehehe I felt so controlled. Everything I did, I did for Him. The sad is I lost my freedom and the worst it felt like i lost my LIFE. But I accepted all the consequences. Because I love Him.
ANGER: This relationship end up with anger. I was so hurt. I never thought He can do that thing to me. I trusted Him. I gave everything I have. I did everything for him. But still He hurt me. He did a sin that I can't forgot and forgive. When I found out about that sin, I felt like my world collapse above me. Why? Why he did that to me? I never did anything wrong to him. The moment i found out i confronted Him. Well we fought because He caugh me holding His phone while crying. So I told Him I saw everything. I red everything. But still He denied everything. But I am not stupid. He even ask me to marry Him. He's family got mad at me because i did'nt accept the marriage proposal. But when I found out what He did to me. I am so thankful I refused to get married. But in the other side i thought He cheated on me because I did'nt accept His proposal. But I realize thats not enaugh reason to hurt me. To make me look stupid. I hated Him. I am so angry. I am so hurt. Everynight I cried. Everynight I woke up crying because I dreamed about it. I can't control my tears, my anger. I was so down and feel so alone. I pity myself. After that incident I became a loner. I always go out alone. I kept everything inside me. Until now even though were friends I still can't forgive Him. I can't forget How hurt I was.
MEMORIES: But theres one thing I never regreted having when were still together. I am so happy to have it in my life. And I will never ever forget about the surprise he organize for me. It was valentines day. He sed He just wanted to have lunch in a cozy restaurant in tagaytay. Yah we had lunch together. But after that lunch we went to tagaytay highlands. And He showed me His surprise.. But in that surprise I sed no.. So sad but I know to myself I am not ready yet so I refused. Now I know I did the right decision..
"Love is when thoughts of but one man fill your heart,
when he means more than life to you,
when you know you would do anything for him and shall die if he is taken from you.
Desire is when you ache to see him and touch him,
when he causes your body to burn and tremble.
Desire does not demand love before it can ensnare you,
but desire with love creates a powerful bond."
We don't know whats gonna happen to our lives. As far as I can see, were ok and were doing our best to our responsibilities. And I am happy about that. I hope your ok and happy. Because me, I am happy and contented for what I have right now.
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